I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
