I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
God, I missed his penis.
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