i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
