Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
