At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think my fart just growled at me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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