is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize