At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The Olympian is in my bed
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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