Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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