I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
