so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
