I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my being single is dangerous.
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Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
True strength comes from lack of pants
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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