I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
