how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish i was in the wii world.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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