she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Let's paint friendship bongs
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
