dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
