i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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