so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
