Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
