My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
