Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you inspire me to be a worse person
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
