Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
