I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
