GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
