You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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