He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
