Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
