don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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