can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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