youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
