Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
