After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner