Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.