WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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