I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
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