sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
