i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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