I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
