Tell her she can't have a vagina
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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