I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
