I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize