i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
