WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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