guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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