I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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