My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
