Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
