I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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