Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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