We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
