why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
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Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
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We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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