i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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