So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i dont even know how to be here
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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