HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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