sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
