i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
