I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
