was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
