You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
