1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
