Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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