Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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