yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
