we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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