"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Screwed.edu
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Couch. On fire.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
